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I ditto Paula's comments as I have contributed to "I am special" mentality versus we all are unique and need to share our gifts and make a difference becasue it is the just, fair, honest and care giving (versus care taking) thing to do.

I think he's right on! Children today feel that they are special because we (mistakenly) give them kudos for every little thing so that no one 'feels badly.'

I am sad to admit that I am of the generation who used the outward motivation of praise, rewards and "your special" to get children to do what they should have been encouraged to do from internal motivation. All those 101 ways to praise your child, your special and good job external doggy bones and the reward method of do this and we will go buy you a toy, created a generation of people who perform only for the prize or choose not to even try unless there is something in it for them. I am sorry to be part of the generation who contributed to the current age of entitlement which makes people unable to see beyond themselves.
I think the speech was an attempt to get a new generation to think and to choose what they do because it is right and because it makes a difference. I do not think most people understand that if we do everything for our children they do not learn to think or solve problems for themselves. If we raise them on a diet of external motivation they will never be people of character whose world is bigger than themselves.

Thank you for including this in the Exchange newsletter. I cannot agree with the speaker more. Over the past 25 years I have experienced the great change in young adults and young children. The sense of entitlement and demand that "someone do this for me" has grown to epidemic proportions. Thank you to Dr. McCullough for your words. Please keep teaching children and, perhaps, teach parents and teachers.

UPDATE: The original link to David McCullough, Jr.'s speech has been removed from YouTube by the user. We have updated the link on our website. Here you can read the full text of the speech and, if you scroll down, you can also view the video.

http://www.theswellesleyreport.com/2012/06/wellesley-high-grads-told-youre-not-special/

Dr. McCollough brought forward what as been looming in the background, forward. We need to deal, examine, and move forward.

I absolutely agree with him.I've been saying the same thing for years!!!!
Each of us are alike and different. It doesn't make us 'special.' It makes us belong to the human family. What makes us special is the way we live our lives, through the choices we make and the relationships we nurture.

I agree with the substance of Dr. McCullough's address. A first grade teacher once expressed this same sentiment during curriculum night. She told the room filled with the parents of that school year's class of first graders that they shouldn't be surprised when their child's papers came home with a simple check mark at the top. She explained that she felt that children were "too stickered". Children needed to develop a work ethic that centered on doing their best because that was the right thing to do and not because there would be a reward (sticker or star on their paper) attached to it. Many parents in the room were disappointed, others were angered they felt that this was too harsh for children so young. As a parent in the room that evening I was pleased that I had found a teacher that would be my partner in encouraging my children to always do their best work, be proud of their accomplishment and be content with the reward of a job well done. WELL DONE Dr. McCollough!

Thank you Dr. McCullough something to be said for speaking the truth---it is not that you will fail, stumble or fall because you will--it is how you get back up and move forward. Superb message---So happy it went viral-I reproduced it for my parents and it was availalble for them.

Finally, somebody is brave enough to inform the public let alone individual students that the world of entitlement does not exist. Regardless of where you are at, you have to set goals and work/earn the rewards of persoanl accomplishments. Jobs do have time clocks and you are expected to be there as scheduled and perform the requirements of the job. Learned helplessness abounds in society due to evrybody gets something just for waking up and breathing. Yes people have been pmapered from birth to believe that the ego-centric world does exist. Eric Cantor grew up with his high school motto - "I want it, and I want it now". Forget his political views-this is attitude of many-even the "occupy" people lacking work ethic to grasp the reality of things have to be obtained overtime through hardwork and determination to be persistent. Capitali$m has carrots of material items dangling in front of people all the time. You have to work at achieving golas that lead to fulfilling your dreams. hope and aspirations of personal life.

I could not watch the video because it had been removed from you tube.

We can have special days and events but if we think we are so special all of the time, we take advantage of others.

He removed the link

This has to be one of the best speeches ever given and sits as well as Kennedy's "ask not what your country can do for you" speech from 50 years ago! Even the movie "The Incredibles" quips these very words when Dash make his youthful observation--so why would anyone be upset by these words...oh, right! those people who are seeing the truth of the matter and its uncomfortable?
Truth, as they say, hurts.
That's life.

AWESOME! As an ECE professional that has been in the field for over 20 years, I believe that it is important that every child feel special and be unique, and to understand they they can accomplish GREAT things in this world, only if they are going to apply themselves and work hard to achieve their goals. There is a big difference between ECE and seniors being graduated from high school.

I think that Mr. McCullough's commencement speech was right on point in the fact that once you got over the shock of "YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL", then the rest of his speech was very positive. He encouraged them to be an individual and to make a difference that will impact 6 billion people, to find their own voice and to find an intrinsic value to your accomplishments . . . basically to be a humble person. I think it was a powerful speech that was articulate well with seriousness and humor.

I think it is truly what every generation needs to hear! I am definitely going to reflect and make some changes in my classroom when I return in the fall!

I loved his speech! It was a dose of reality for any graduate who was really listening. I frequently feel that our young adults have been catered to and have a "serve me" approach to life. The work ethic has changed and from when I was a teenager. We took low paying, less desirable jobs so that we would get expereince and earn an income. Many of today's teens would rather text, tweet or e-mail than take a job of low interest or low pay. Parents are doing too much for children and teens along the way and they often expect others to take care of them. The speaker was humourous and the message was clear--do something because it has value and meaning in your life, not just because it will build your resume! I wish I had heard this speech at my high school commencement.

At long last a speech that says something. Get over yourself! Do something! Its a wonderful world filled with many like you, 6 billion or so very special people like you!

I could go on and on about this speech, I am 61 years old and am still reading and learning everyday!

I encourage all educators (and students and parents) to watch the speech in its entirety on youtube. An excellent point of view and not just for new graduates. Let's replace grades/awards with achievement and celebrity with character. It would be refreshing to have just one TV series that followed high school students on their community service pathways instead of the Kardashians.

This speaker ahd some very good things to say, like go have an extraordinary life. Selflessness is the key to happiness.
Unfortuntely, in saying no one is special because we're so all alike, he missed an important concept. This is, each person is unique and has a contribution to make that no one else can make. Because of this, each person can contribute much and be remembered for their unique contributions.

Interesting that no one really wants to point out that at one point he says something like, you're not special because we're all special..." I thought his speach was thoughtful, positively provocative and would love him to speak to any of my young adult children.

This is exactly the challenge we face in early childhood education. It starts very early when children are not allowed to even fall down when they are learning to walk.

I will be following comments on You Are Not Special to see what everyone has to say. Can't wait for this conversation.

I just retired from 36 years in education and I needed to hear that commencement address. That speech is just what I needed to direct my path for the next part of my life ! I am so glad I listened to the entire speech! Now I have a new vision!

A great speech with a 'Real' message. Positive message delivered with great humor.

I wholehartedly agree! His speech was a necessity not only to young people, but to many adults. Too many people think they're above everyone else when we were all created by the same God. I have seen many young people today doing "nothing" and lacking motivation because they don't know how to interact with people or problem solve. Not only is it a sense of entitlement, its also a lack of common sense skills.

What a great speech to send those young people out into the journey that is life! While we all have things about us which are unique, life does not owe us anything. We get out of life what we put into it. By seeing ourselves as less important, we can focus on the importance of others. No, none of us is the center of the universe. However, by thinking of others, we all come out ahead. I pray these young people live their lives to the fullest, always remembering the speech that set them on their way.

Awesome speech! Much needed in our society. Every teacher, principal, parent should read this to their children. Life is about living it to the fullest. Your fullest. Doing what makes YOU happy. Not about how much money we make, what kind of car we drive, or how many toys we can amass. It's about sharing love, experiences, being IN the moment, and leaving this earth and our society a little better because we were in it.

I like this speech but feel a little tension. I have heard that "If everyone's special, then no one is special" phrase many times. I have heard that critique of Fred Rogers consistent "I like you just the way you are". I understand the point behind the concern. I agree that we climb to see not to be seen. I just keep thinking of all those kids who need to hear that they matter, that they are ...important, that they are loved not for what they do but for who they are. I think there is a time for the "You are not perfection" but it has to be balanced with the "You are needed here in this world", "You matter", "You are special and loved and you don't have to earn it." Maybe the skill for us as grown ups is to know when the kids around us need a little motivation to try harder and when they need a hug to remind them that they don't need to try so hard.

I applaud David McCullough on this speech it was inspirational and I wish that more people could see it and "get" it; it's message is timely and profound!

I believe that this needed to be said and we, as ECE educators, should take a close look at the trends in teaching and parenting that brought McCullough to make this speech. Just this week I had two different conversations about the general lack of consideration for others and sense of entitlement that we see in public behaviors today. Everyone is unique and special - but their uniqueness doesn't entitle them to special treatment or to treat others as if they are of lesser importance. I believe this is where we have made our mistake in over-stressing self esteem and promoting praise without merit or true accomplishment. This is not to say that we shouldn't ever praise children. For many children the positive reinforcement and praise that they hear in child care or school makes up for the negativity and criticism that they hear at home. However, while every child should be taught that they are unique they should also be taught that everyone is unique in their own way and being special or unique does not entitle them to believe their wants and desires come before common courtesy or the needs of others.

I think the speaker made a valid point of living your life to your fullest. He's not trying to be rude and he's not truly saying we aren't all special but that we all need to remember we are only a small part of this world and should strive to make the best of our time in it.

I loved what he said. Over the past 40 years, I have raised a large family and taught alot of children in my own in-home daycare, as well as children in the public daycare sector. It is important that children have a high self esteem, but they must know that you have to earn what you get in this world. It's refreshing to hear someone say it is okay to try to succeed, just for the joy of taking the path to get there. We don't have to always hear praise from others to know we are doing the right thing...we must learn to recognize it from within!

His message was profound, eloquent-- and courageous.

This was inspiring! As early childhood educators we have an opportunity to demonstrate in our practice that each person deserves to be valued and nurtured; by both recognizing our common attributes and appreciating the uniqueness of each individual. Our challenge is to communicate that there is something other than the “everything is a competitive race” perspective common in the 50’s and 60’s or the “everyone is special so ‘good job’” trend perpetuated in the 70’s 80’s and 90’s that persists today. High self-esteem is gained by meeting challenging but achievable goals, doing work that enhances the lives of others, and being affirmed for the inimitable talents each person brings. Whether we work directly with children, supervise the adults who do work directly with children, or teach parents or ECE students, it is past time to fret about whether everyone feels ‘good’ and time to be genuine but compassionate in our work as we cultivate the highest capacities in ourselves and others.

The address was profound, provacative, and inspiring. Although he said the students were not special he told them to go and be special. He shared with them the qualities needed to become special in a society that is over indulgent with the idea of accumulating things and selfish. He challenged them to make a difference by being different. What a joy of a teacher to have in high school. The time in a young persons life when they are trying to figure life out. I can see where some may not get it and reduce his speech to "you are not special", perhaps because they are part of the "37,000".

This gentleman actually said what many of us have been thinking for a long time. I work with 30 staff members ranging in age from 23-65 years of age and it would be wonderful if many of them understood the idea of doing something for the sake of doing a good job. Making one's self look good at other people's expense is far too common place these days.
David McCullough, you rock!

I agree with the speaker. If everyone is special then no one is special. Children need to have healthy self-esteems but not with instant gratification and constant praise. Only when you fail does real learning take place. I am a traditionalist when it comes to parenting and believe that the 'good feeling' children get when they accomplish a hard task is reward enough. Not everyone should make the basketball team or the football team. Those who are cut need to work harder. It is okay not to succeed in everything you attempt. Trying and failing is better than not trying at all.

EXACTLY the message that the younger generation needs to internalize--and we teachers/families need to make happen! Wish I had written the speech. It is brilliant!

Excellent.

Wow...love it! Finally someone is willing to tell it like it is. We spend so much time as parents and educators coddling students--making sure everything is fair, everyone is a winner- that we lose sight of the value of having to work hard for something. What's the point in trying to get good grades when everything is graded on a curve? Why bother trying to become a great athlete when everyone gets a ribbon/prize/scholarship?
Helping students to see the intrinsic value in a job well done is also very important--not for the accolades, not for the prize--but for the sake of doing good and loving what you are doing.

It's about time! We made a huge mistake in telling everyone they are great when in fact, they may be ordinary. NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING ORDINARY! We have created generations of young people with an incredible sense of entitlement, no work ethic, seriously lacking in empathy and unable to stand up to the challenges of life. Shame on all of us for buying into this nonsense. Again, it's about time we correct this mistake and get real about expectations!

An important message: Stated with gentle, wry humor, it is a thought-provoking reminder about that which is important in life.

So many great points here! I hope there are others out there with this message! After years of over-praising, rewards for doing what should be done, and supplying instant gratification to our children, we see that we have made our society constantly searching for more praise, rewards, or "fun" instead of searching more deeply for goals which bring happiness and fulfillment.
I think, though, we should be teaching that everyone is special in their own way, and that we should always try to see that uniquness in others.

I like the thought of a graduate approaching adulthood having a selfless point of view. It would be a remarkable ability of the next generation to become more focused on what they can give to others and less focused on what they can get for themselves. Hope they plant followthrough not flags on their mountain to achievement.

I thought he was honest. I think early childhood professionals have long recognized the limits of praise that we so often hear heaped on children. With time the child with heaps of praise begins to perform to gain praise rather than to enjoy a job well done. When we "encourage", we help children feel the pleasure in their efforts and discoveries. Excessive praise may contribute to students who work for grades rather than better understanding and employees who work for money rather than a contribution for the betterment of their community.

I wish every graduating high school student could hear his speech. .His pathway to a fulfilled like is so affirming.

Bravo! I noticed there was quite a bit of laughter when he started...and then less. As a childcare director I am seeing so many parents who in the name of "love" are coddling their children, but not allowing them any independence or expect any responsibility for their actions--they still carry in their child's belongings, still allow them to do pretty much as they please ("oh, they do that all the time at home") and I am seeing such a change over the past 30 years.
Quite a graduation speech--I am sure they will remember it--I HOPE some of them will react to it and follow his suggestions to make this world a better place!